"You Are Not Yourself"
Barbara Kruger
Sometimes I get terrified of the thought that I may have to raise a daughter in this world. If that happens, I’m going to do my best, but lately I’ve been so highly sensitive to and aware of the role that women are now playing in modern America. We live in a society right now where simple, refined femininity is no longer enough. Every popular female music artist today conveys to women that in order to be appealing, you either have to be explicitly sexual (Beyonce, Katy Perry, Rihanna) or a huge freak – extremely brash, masculine, weird and edgy and covered in chains, leather, and glitter (Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Britney Spears). It’s okay for women to use harsh, foul language. It’s okay to dress like a whore. It’s okay to fill your body with artificial chemicals and implants. It’s okay to get so drunk and sloppy to the point that you forget entire weekends of your life. Basically, if girls want to discover self worth or have a worthwhile life, it’s going to have to come out of their sexual appeal or their shock value. Because who you really are will never be enough. Simply being a woman is not enough.
What I think is especially ironic is that this mentality is supposed to paint a portrait of strength and independence for women. Respect is the last thing that these kind of women have earned. Money, men, and fame, maybe, but not respect and certainly not strength. And it makes me sad for future generations. We’re setting bright, innocent girls up for failure by coaxing them into becoming slipshod women.
To me, a strong woman is a woman who realizes that confidence and respect come from her mind and her exceptional capacity to influence the world and those around her. A strong woman is a woman who sacrifices her needs on behalf of her children. A strong woman is a woman who goes after her ambitions of being a businesswoman, an architect, a historian, an engineer, or an artist. A strong woman is a woman who facilitates happiness, hope, and love. Sister Margaret D. Nadauld said, “The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”
Another reason I’ve been on this rampage lately is because of the fact that the LDS religion has been in the public eye a little more lately with Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman in their presidential campaigns, as well as popularity of The Book of Mormon musical, and many comments I’ve read online and heard from friends have been about the oppression that LDS Church puts on women. If I wasn’t a member of the church myself, I might get that impression. However, I believe that this is simply a misinformed outside impression that few women in the church actually feel. In fact, I’m not entirely sure from where this impression comes (interesting fact: Utah was the actually first state that tried to grant women the right to vote. However, statehood was quickly denied by the U.S. government because basically the United States thought that the Mormons trying to settle it were going to take over politics, force everyone to convert and consequently brainwash everyone into polygamy and then put everyone in a rocket-ship and blast them into space in hopes of making it to heaven while leaving all the Democrats, gays, and atheists in a giant hole we dug under the Great Salt Lake...
that last part was a joke, by the way).
As a member of the LDS Church for the past 14 years, I have always been encouraged to attain higher education, I have never felt or been told that I’m mentally and certainly not spiritually inferior to men in the Church (those in authority or otherwise), and I understand that the spirit of a woman is something entirely unique to that of a man and that I hold equal but distinctive responsibilities. To those still in doubt, ask the question—what did Christ think of women? I always find it interesting that one of the first stories we read in the Bible of Christ’s ministry is not about loudly preaching to thousands of Jews—it’s of the simple encounter with a woman at a well. What did Christ think of his mother? What of Mary and Martha? What of the woman taken in adultery?
“Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley
So I guess I'm not really terrified to have a daughter. I just hope that I can teach her what's really important so that she's able to make it through and understand where her self worth really comes from. In the words of President James E. Faust, “I wonder if you sisters fully understand the greatness of your gifts and talents and how all of you can achieve the 'highest place of honor' in the Church and in the world. One of your unique, precious, and sublime gifts is your femininity, with its natural grace, goodness, and divinity. Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your qualities of your capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each of you possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty…It is your incomparable power and influence to do good.”
